Yeah, but did you even LISTEN?

Here's a question I've been thinking about...

Considering we negotiate for a living, Realtors really aren't very good listeners. A client calls and says they need to sell their home in a hurry, and we immediately show up with comps to see how much we can get for it. Have you ever asked the seller, “Given your situation, how much money do you need to walk away with to make this a success for you?” And then, from there, figured out what to price the home at? Sometimes the highest price is not the best scenario for your client.

At our brokerage, we meet every Wednesday night for Fireside Chat. It is, in a nutshell, a collaboration of agents sharing ideas on a topic while drinking wine. Sometimes it is a Realtor Bitch Fest™, but most of the time we do have a serious topic. We often watch a clip from MasterClass and learn from somebody outside the industry, then try to apply the lesson to real estate.

One of our best was with Chris Voss, a former United States government hostage negotiator. Turns out, his job and ours—not so different! Dealing with unreasonable people in a high-stakes situation? Yep, that rings true! One of the lessons we took from it was the power of looping. Looping is when you listen, repeat back what you think you heard, and ask for confirmation. “So, John, you need to sell your home in 10 days or less, or you could lose the home. Is that correct?” This not only helps the listener feel validated that you are actually paying attention, but it also helps ensure that you are getting to the root of the problem, not just the emotion of what they are feeling.

Taking the scenario above, imagine looping that sentence back to the homeowner and then hearing them say: “No, we want to sell quickly, but if not, we could probably borrow money from Mom to buy us some time. It's more important that we get as much money as we can versus leaving it on the table by selling too fast.” That conversation could have gone VERY differently if you hadn't looped it back and instead went full steam ahead with the “quick sale/cheap price” scenario.

Learning how to communicate well starts with learning how to listen. But it is also about how you speak. Subtle cues make a big difference. “This home oozes luxury!” versus “The home elevates the lifestyle you are accustomed to.” It says the same thing but evokes a different tone for the listener. It also makes you sound elegant and not like a douchebag. IMHO. Speaking well, articulating what you mean, and understanding how your words land are learned skills. Take a Toastmasters class, join an improv group, or find yourself in a hostage situation for some hands-on training. (I joke, but there's nothing like jumping into the frying pan to learn something quickly, right?)

We spend an awful lot of time learning what to say. Stop preparing your response long enough to understand what the other person is actually telling you. Maybe this week, spend a little more time learning how to listen. Because sometimes the most important thing your client tells you isn't what they said. It's what you heard.

So, to answer the question I have been thinking about…What did you HEAR?

Nicholas Yale

Designated Broker/Owner | Brokers Hub Realty